Dear Adele and Drake

Adele and Drake have both recently released songs that almost broke the internet. I won't get into which song I like more or which is a better song (although those of you who know me personally will probably guess which one I belt out in the car and which one I can't stand listening to.)

What I am going to do, is delve into what these songs are about because I disagree with the message. Here is my open letter to Adele and Drake.


Dear Adele and Drake,

It's time to move on, you left your ex behind. You can't get sad now that you've come back years later to discover they have moved on with their lives. I understand that you were hoping you could take off right where you left off, but it's selfish of you to now make your ex feel bad, through the power of music, for living their lives.

I would like to speak to you individually now, starting with Drake. Drake man, you're getting to a creepy stalker level. Don't follow your ex to the club, don't worry if she has champagne out on the dance floor. Looking at your lyrics I am beginning to believe that you never actually dated this girl... was she just a late night booty call? Because if that is the case you need to move on man. You left the city, you have made that perfectly clear, so don't worry about what this girl is up to or who she is hanging with. I get you care about her, but don't get made that she is filling up pages in her passport or hanging with some girls you never seen before. It sounds like you left your booty call, and she has made some new friends and gone travelling, Drake you could learn a thing or two from this girl, go and live your life and make some new friends.

Adele, I can understand your perspective a little more than Drakes (again Drake, don't be a creepy stalker following her to the dance floor). All you wanted to do was apologise about how you left things when you did leave. In a way, I think you are just after some closure, to make sure they did go on and live their life. This would be fine, if not for you passive aggressive line of "But it don't matter, clearly, it doesn't tear you apart anymore." Adele, that's not okay. Don't make this ex of yours feel bad because they moved on and were able to heal the wounds of their past. You have the power to make people miss ex's they never even had. You need to use this power for good, not for passive aggressive making your ex that you left feel bad for healing and moving on. I understand he didn't take your call and so you had no option but to give a message through song, but maybe you could have had a chorus that went...
"Hello from the outside,
I'm glad to see that you have tried
To move on, and I'm happy
For you, and all that you've done, so be proud"
It's not perfect I know, but you can work on it.

I wish you both happiness in your future love endeavours, maybe you could call each other? Just try to be less passive aggressive (Adele), and a little less stalkery (Drake).

Love
Darcy

The Reactions to Paris

A tragedy rocked the world this week when several attacks were made in Paris, with over 120 deaths and over 300 injured it's a time for mourning. Yet this wasn't the over all reaction that spread across my Facebook page. There was a lot of anger.

The first thing that surprised me was the anger towards the hashtag Pray For Paris. I saw posts saying "Why would you pray to a God who did nothing to prevent the attacks" and "praying won't solve anything, why don't you all do something useful instead."
I understand that religion isn't something that everybody believes in, but who are you to say that the coping mechanisms for other people are wrong? How do we know that there aren't families who have been effected by these attacks who want people praying for them?
You shouldn't be putting people down for doing what they believe is the right thing, yes by all means encourage people to help in other ways. But nothing gives you the right to belittle another persons belief.

The second thing I noticed were people getting mad that people were upset about the attacks on Paris. I know this seems beyond foolish, but it is happening. People are saying that we shouldn't care about Paris because of attacks that had happened earlier in the week in Lebanon. They claimed that the media was brainwashing us by not reporting on these attacks. This got me a little upset firstly, do not negate the pain people are feeling about Paris because of another tragedy, the reason that this particular attack would be in your news feed and not the Lebanon attack is that it is more likely for your loved ones to have loved ones in Paris at the time rather than in Lebanon. This doesn't mean one was a greater tragedy than the other, it just means you have a predominately Western newsfeed. The other point about the media is wrong as well. A quick google search showed that every reputable news site had reported on the Lebanon attacks, from local community news such as 4zzz, through to National news with ABC and international news with the BBC. I don't believe shows such as A Current Affair and Today Tonight would have reported on it because it was fear mongering enough for them. So don't blame the media if you aren't getting information, you need to expand the places you get  your information from and decide for yourself which news sites and shows are the best.

And thirdly, and this is what terrifies me the most, is the threatening backlash on the Muslim community. Thankfully no one on my personal news feed has been blaming the Muslim community for the attacks in paris, but I have seen that channel 7 has once again given well known racist bigot Pauline Hanson a platform to inject fear into the hearts of Australia. She tried to blame the refugees who are fleeing this very conflict for being the ones behind the attack. I personally believe we need to stop giving her any more attention.

Martin Luther King Jnr once said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."
This should not be a time to let hatred sit in our hearts for anyone. I know that in a situation like this, it's hard not to let the fear turn into hatred. As Yoda once said "Fears leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." So let's not allow this fear to turn into anger or hate, instead cast your love out into the world, acknowledge those who are trying to do the same, and only then will we see real change.

My prayers go out to anyone who is in need of them, along with my love and support for anyone who needs it in this time.

Advice For My Brother

Today my brother finishes a major chapter in the book of life and is about to embark on a new journey. That's right, today is his final day of classes for high school. As the older, wiser, and I assume better looking brother, it is up to me to pass on some advice to my little, yet taller, brother.

My first piece of advice: Embrace your weirdness.
I think our baby brother does this the best, he doesn't care what people think. Has he been wearing the same clothes all week? You bet he has! Does he care that you think it's gross? Not even a little bit! You can learn a lot from him. People will always try and put you down for not conforming to the norm, but you can't let these people who are too afraid to branch out effect how  you live your life. Go out and wear weird glasses, and watch cartoons, embrace your weird and do what makes you happy.

This leads to my next piece of advice: If something is worth doing it will be hard.
As much as I wish it were untrue, you will need to work hard at what you love. I know the saying "if you do what you love then you will never work a day in your life" that is BS. You have to accept that somedays are going to be hard, and that's okay because it means you are doing something worthwhile. You will have days that you are loving what you're doing and it won't feel like work, but you will have days that you question why you thought it was a good idea in the first place, but remember, if it's what you love then you can push through the bad days.

Let mom and dad help you.
This is a hard lesson to learn, and I know that at 17 you pretty much know all you need to know about life... however, I promise that mom and dad still have some wisdom to pass on. And  trust me, I know that at times it will feel more like a lecture than passing on advice, but if you can learn to listen to them and take on board the advice they have for you I promise that you will be able to achieve everything you imagined in life and more.

Don't forget to let them in to your life as well.
I will admit that I'm not great at doing this, I forget to tell them things, and I am terrible at remembering details. But mom and dad love you more than you can realise, and they don't want to judge, or criticise or even be physically involved, they just like to know that you are safe and happy.

My final piece of advice: Never lose your sense of humour.
I don't think there has been a day this year where I haven't been with you and laughed, yes some times I'm laughing at you, but I still laugh. Even when I'm laughing at you you have this amazing ability to roll with the joke and make it yours. I don't know if you realise how important this skill is for life. Being able to laugh at yourself and being able to make other people laugh is truly a gift to the world. So never let anyone take your sense of humour, it's perfect the way it is.

Sean, you will be able to achieve anything you want in this life, so go out and live it. Never be afraid of what people think. And because I don't say this enough, I love you Sean.

Coffee - A Poem

I feel like a Zombie

As I stumble off the train.

My head hangs low, my feet shuffle,

I barely feel the rain

As it begins to fall upon my shoulders

I make my way towards a haven,

A fortress, with my saviour,

I approach the man standing guard

who asks me to chose my flavour.

The machine purrs to life,

Steam curls around it's corners

My guardian angel reaches out

A cup is in his hands.

I reach out with mine,

Fingers briefly intertwine

Then it's as if time.... stops.

I take a sip,

and then another,

The warmth flows through my veins, down to my core

I feel life spread to my extremities,

No longer shall I shuffle like a zombie,

My head held high,

I walk fast and strong,

Im calm,

confident,

Yes, this coffee will get me by...

Until the addition starts to twitch

Yes, this coffee will get me by...

Until I can get my next fix

Humanity and the Refugee

Hey, it's been a while... sorry....

Lot's of exciting things happening though! From interning at the ABC for radio through to writing a children's book!! But I am back to clear some things up for people who probably don't read this blog... I am talking about all the hate that has been given to people who are seeking asylum in Australia.

I want you to imagine for a moment, every day you live in fear that you, your family,  your children, your parents, could be killed any second for really no reason. You have no power to stop it. Every day you wake up in fear, eventually that fear becomes just an over all numbness, every day could be your last, could be your child's last day. Now... keep this fear and this want to keep your family and your children alive... Someone offers you an escape. They say you can be brought to Australia, a country you hear as one of the most open multicultural countries in the world. This place that seems like the garden of eden, a place where your children can grow up without fear, with healthcare and education, where they can have a future. Would you take it? Would you not take the opportunity to take your children out of a war zone, a place where they are at risk of dying every day, where they will get little to no education, where the longer they stay the shorter their future looks. Would you not try and save them?

The problem with Australia and Asylum Seekers is that we remove the humanity. We don't see them as people like the rest of us. We are led to see them as just that.. "THEM" Tony Abbot and the terrible "news" programs such as A Current Affair, and Today Tonight (I use news in the same way McDonalds is called a restaurant) try and spark fear into the heart of the nation with an US verse THEM mentality, that they are coming for our jobs and our homes and our society will crash because all of a sudden vegemite is halal (heads up, it's always been halal, it's just been certified now).
People are concerned that we are taking in too many refugees, but the reality is we are taking in so few we may be in breach of international law.

We don't get the full story, I have heard people say that the only reason the are coming to Australia is to improve their socioeconomic status. No one would risk their 3 year old drowning because they want to move from middle class to upper-middle class.
I've heard someone else get mad at a photographer who took a photo of a drowned three year old because he should have saved the child if he cared so much.... I would like to make this clear the child was dead before he washed ashore...
He drowned along side his 5 year old brother and mother. His father survived and travelled back to Syria to burry his family. He was given the opportunity to resettle in another country and he said "what does it matter, all that was precious to me is gone."
We are losing our humanity. we are losing what it means to be human, our empathy, our sympathy, our compassion. And that terrifies me.

A friend of mine has written an article about a boy whose parents and brother were killed and he escaped the country with his 2 best friends. As they were running up a hill to escape, soldiers open fired, they were 16, soldiers open fired on children. his friend was gunned down, begging this boy not to leave him, not to let him die. His other friend pulled the boy away to the top of the hill. To this day he says he still sees his friend begging him not to leave and asking why he left him to die, he blames himself. He is 16.
While on the boat to his new life, it capsizes, half of the people on board drown, including his last friend in the world. He is now on his own, no family no friends.
He makes it to Brisbane, and he sees people dancing in the street in Southbank, music playing. And for the first time since he left his home country, he smiles. He knows that no matter what things will be better here. He now lives in a detention centre, only being allowed out to attend school. But still he is happy, because no one is gunning him, a child, down as he flees after his own family was killed. He still sees his friend in his dream asking him why he left him to die... but he believes that now he is here things will get better. He studies harder than almost any student I have met.
This is a real human. Just a boy who has no one, no friends no family, living in a detention centre, and who is happy to be in such an accommodating country....

We have lost our humanity.
Our compassion.
Our ability to feel anything for anyone but ourselves.

Tony Abbott and his media think fear mongering is the best solution. But it's clear that the only thing that it's doing is removing us from our fellow humans.
It shouldn't be US vs THEM. We are all humans, and we need to realise that before we are too removed to come back.

So to Tony, Today Tonight, and anyone who believes that Asylum Seekers don't have a right to be here, but yourself in the shoes of that boy. See things from their perspective. Find your humanity.

Trying to Adult

I recently quit a job, I won't mention the name of said job, but know it was a type of club for coffee. a coffee club if you will.... And I was so happy to be rid of the environment. For whatever reason this coffee shop was unable to ever have a satisfied customer, and the times I was able to use my customer  I would be told I was spending too much time with the customers. Customers would be waiting 45 minutes for an entree of 5 calamari rings, but I wouldn't be able to make small talk to distract them from this wait. Not to mention the crazy under staffing... but I'm getting off topic.

Once I quit I felt a freedom, that was until it was time to do my taxes.... I discovered that they didn't email me my payment summary, which indicates how much I could claim back on tax etc. At first this seemed like a relatively easy fix, all I would have to do is call up the old store and get them to email me my payment summary... I was wrong... so very very wrong.

the first conversation went along the lines of:
Me - "Hi, I'm an old employee of this store, I haven't received my payment summary, would you be able to email it to me, thanks?
Boss - "We emailed them last week"
Me- "Ahh, well something must have gone wrong as I never received the summary"
Boss - "Yeah well we emailed them last week"
Me - "I don't suppose you could email it again"
Boss - "No you have to call head office"
Me - "No problem! Do you have the number by any chance?"
Boss - "Just look it up online"
Me - "Ok, thanks for your time"
Boss - *hangs up*

I then went and called head office
Me - "Hi, I'm an ex-employee. I haven't received my payment summary"
Receptionist - "We emailed them last week"
Me - "Ahh yes, my old boss did mention that, but said I should call you to email me again."
Receptionist - "You have to email payroll"
Me - "Do you have an email address?" *fearing they would just tell me to look it up online

Thankfully they did have the email address! So hopefully I will be able to actually complete my taxes like a real adult and can be rid of this club for coffee for good...

And remember, never stay in a job you hate just because they pay you!

The Redneck Invasion

As I am sure everyone has heard, the US Supreme Court has ruled in favour of same sex marriage across all 50 states. However, not everyone is happy about this news. There are (for a lack of a politer sounding term) a lot of homophobic rednecks who feel threatened due to the fact people can marry whoever they love (perhaps Brokeback Mountain hits a little to close to home for them?). Unfortunately the rednecks have taken to twitter to announce they would be leaving the USA.... and would be coming to Australia.

That's right, the Australian parliament is so backwards that rednecks are seeing it as their homophobic promised land. Who is the leader of this promised land I hear you cry? Well it's none other than Tony Abbott, who I believe is becoming more and more like Australia's very own personal Voldemort. Despite the rising support from his country and around the globe for people to have the right to marry whoever they love (including his own sister who is currently in a long term same sex relationship) he refuses to change his mind. It came to a stage when opposition leader Bill Shorten wanted to introduce a bill to the parliament regarding same sex marriage, yet Tony didn't even have the courtesy to show up.

Now I don't want this to seem like an attack on Tony just for his views on sam sex marriage. It's about his entire way of thinking. When you have more Australian flags in the background of a speech than you do women in you parliamentary cabinet, you have a problem. Or when push for coal and fossil fuels because you think green energy looks ugly.

He's supported by his own personal Wormtail (another harry potter reference, I have to assume everyone has seen the movies or read the books) Joe Hockey. Mr Hockey, Australia's treasurer, has some stunning views. One of my personal favourites being "rising fuel costs won't matter because poor people don't drive" or his advice on buying a new home "get a good job that pays good money". I'm glad he was there to tell me the last one because I would never have been able to figure that out.

Tony blatantly goes against basic human rights when it comes to asylum seekers. According to the Australian Human Rights Commission All people have a fundamental human right to seek asylum from persecution. Instead of helping these people find a place away from their war torn countries where they are being persecuted. Yet Mr Abbott decides this means he can throw alyssum seekers into a detention centre in Indonesia which is full of sexual assault and abuse. 

This man is skyrocketing Australia all the way back to the 50's and seems quite happy to do so. We need a change, and we need it soon. Let's hope we can join the rest of Western Civilisation and legalise same sex marriage, it's the first step of many that we need to take to start making this world a better place. 

Gym or Netfix

I have been debating recently if I should get a gym membership or a Netflix subscription.

I've decided to write up the pros and cons of each, and hopefully it will help me (and maybe even help you) to figure out which one is best. 

Gym: 

Pros

• Will hopefully allow me to pull a Chris Pratt - turn me from a loveable chub to a ripped hottie who is somehow even more loveable than before
• Improves my general fitness and health 
• I know it's the better option..... although I can't think of any more reasons

Cons

• It's more expensive 
• It takes a lot more will power
• It's going to be a lot more painful than sitting and watching Netflix... 

Netflix

Pros

• I can finally be up to date on all the popular shows, this will lead to be being able to talk to people again. 
• I can binge watch old favourites
• It's cheaper than a gym membership 
• I do love movies and tv, so that is going to count for a reason

Cons

• Admittedly it's detrimental to my fitness to stay in bed and watch a season (or two) of TV...
• It will cost me what little of my social life I have
• That is really about it... 

The gym membership is definitely the healthier option, which I guess is the better option... but the minute I get a job that pays I will get both a gym membership and a Netflix account! Then we can see which holds up better... 

The Little Things

Prepare to go deep, we're gonna get emotional and I may cry... Grab some comfort food and read on, dear reader.

I was sitting at the McDonald's at Central Station when an elderly couple came and sat at the table next to me. At first there didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary about this couple, but after watching them I noticed how much they enjoyed and embraced the little things in their lives. I first noticed this when they were discussing what they wanted to eat. The husband seemed unsure of himself, not being a regular customer at McDonald's he was unsure as to what he was able to order. So his wife said she'd surprise him as she went off to order. The old man took his seat, looking around the restaurant, all the while seeming perfectly content. He didn't pull out a phone or a book or even the news paper, he was perfectly happy to sit and wait. When his wife returned she surprised him with a new item on the menu, saying that she wasn't sure but she hopes he will like it. Now I'm sure you all think this is very trivial, but I promise there is a point! (And you may find the story even gets better so bear with me). Despite this being a trivial interaction, it was the joy that sat deep in their eyes as they went about their business. You could feel the love they had for each other radiating, and they seemed so happy to just be spending a day in the city together.
I feel in our society, we are so worried and occupied with the end product of whatever we are doing that we forget to occasionally take a step back and just enjoy the journey. We rush to work, then we cram as much as we can into our days so we can get that next promotion, then we race home to catch the next episode of whatever TV show is currently the most popular, only to fall asleep and start the cycle over again. Always rushing to get to the next stage in our life. Our spare time is spent surfing the web or being too exhausted to really do anything. We work ourselves into the ground and because of this we feel the need to treat ourselves more regularly. Yet if we start to treat ourselves everyday, it becomes less of a treat and starts to just become part of the routine, and this defeats the purpose of a treat. You need to take the time to enjoy it, life isn't about a race to the finish line, it's about all of the little moments, every step you take along the way.
I eventually got chatting with the elderly couple, and only very briefly. I never learnt the wife's name, but the husband was named Bill. (For the sake of the story let's call the wife Mary). Mary informed me that they were in the city to see a doctor, I found out that Bill was very sick and they didn't think he was going to get better. He was developing the early signs of dementia. Mary feared that soon he wouldn't even be able to remember her name. They had been married for almost 45 years. Yet Mary hadn't given in to the sadness or the hopelessness of the situation. She knew that she didn't have much time left with Bill, or at least with the Bill that would remember her.

I wrote the story above over a year ago. But couldn't bring myself to publish it at first, I can't say why, perhaps I feel I didn't do the story of Bill and Mary justice, or simply I didn't want to admit I go to McDonald's. But a year on this story has stuck with me, I haven't forgotten about Bill and Mary. I still think of them and wonder if Bill's health has gotten better or if his mind has given way to dementia. About Mary and if she is still able to sit with Bill and talk about what they are having for lunch. I can't say why this story has stayed with me for so long, or even if it will affect anyone else. But I do know I need to share this story, even if it's just to get it out of my system and into the blogosphere.

I think I need to get it out because, personally, I get caught up with the big things. What am I going to do when I graduate? What is my dream job now? Do I have enough friends?
When instead I should just be allowing myself to enjoy the little things. That phone call from grandma, movie night with the family, lunch with the friends I do have.

I'm not saying don't sweat the big stuff, because you should, it's sweat worthy stuff! But you can also enjoy the little stuff at the same time.

Karaoke is but Self-indulgence

Now, I want to start by saying I love Karaoke! There is nothing better than drinking, getting on a stage in front of strangers and pretending you can sing. Hell, it's even great for those who don't want to sing, they can sit back and enjoy the rest of us make complete fools of ourselves. Yet I can't help but feel it's all just a way of self pleasure.

I got this feeling when I was having my 'Sober Night Out' (that post is coming I promise) in which I went out and did all the things you do while drinking, but without drinking. Obviously this had to include karaoke. I got up and sang, and my partner got up and sang, and the ammeters who have never before drank and sang got up and sang! But what I had never realised before was there was a bit of a Karaoke club. Not an official club with jackets (maybe they had jackets, if they did they weren't wearing them) but just a group of karaoke singers who all knew each other, were on first name basis with the karaoke MC and knew the bar staff.

There wasn't any real benefit that I could see from being in this club, they didn't get to cut in line, they didn't get cheap drinks and they didn't get any thing I didn't get from karaoke. In fact for the most part they looked bored. When they weren't singing they were outside smoking, only to run back inside once the music to their song started.

It was interesting, something I might not have noticed had I been drinking with everyone else. But as it was my sober night out, I definitely noticed it. Now, not wanting to offend, they weren't great singers. They were good, but I wouldn't sign them to a record label. So I feel part of the reason they were the karaoke club was because of the applause they get at the end of their performances. They were definitely the best singers at the bar (although it wasn't too hard to beat the unintelligible drunk man and the little old lady who forgot her words, she gets points for being cute though). So of course when they got on stage and belted some crowd favourites people lost their shit (a metaphor here, for those of you who thought people literally misplaced their faecal matter, it means they went crazy). They were the rock stars of the karaoke bar! And while my rendition of Don't Stop Believing didn't launch me into the rock n roll hall of fame, I do know the bench mark that has been set before me.

Learning For All The Wrong Reasons

I study music and journalism. When I tell people this the two responses I usually get is "that's an 'interesting' combination" or "Aren't you worried about getting a job?" I'll start by answering the question. Of course I'm worried about getting a job, I'm terrified that I will stuck working as a waiter for the rest of my life. However, I would still have this fear if I was studying law or medicine or even teaching. I'm a firm believer that you study because you want to learn something, not because you want a job. I understand that for some jobs, like a doctor, I would more than prefer for my doctor to have studied medicine so he knows what he/she is doing. Yet above all else, I want my doctor to be passionate about his/her job. I want them to walk into the operating theatre every morning and get the same feeling inside their gut that I get when I walk out on a stage or finish writing a piece I'm beyond proud of. I want them to be their because they want to be there. I don't want a doctor who is a doctor because their parents wanted them to have a stable job. This person, who is doing the job out of work stability rather than passion, will never be as good as the doctor with passion.
I've known too many people who have changed out of degrees that they loved doing because they didn't see a job at the end of it. That is not the reason to study. People need to study to learn about what they love, not so they can have a job at the end of their degree. If you hate what you do then you are no better of working at McDonald's as your career. Don't be afraid to chase your dreams. Passion is what leads to great things. If we didn't have passionate people who dared to go against the norm then we wouldn't have a lot of the comfort and technologies we have now. You need to perceiver and continue to strive towards your goals. The reason not many people make it in the arts is because the majority of people give up before they have a chance to really explore what they are capable of. I think this is because we are forced to grow up so quickly.
I recently turned 20. This was terrifying leading up to the big 2-0. I started to feel old, that I should get a job at the bank, get a mortgage, marry and have 2.5 kids. But after a mild panic in which I tried to grow a beard (unsuccessfully) and tried to get myself an adult job (also unsuccessful) I came to realise that I was young, like really young, like I'm still 5 years old in the big scheme of things. With the length that people are living, I haven't even reached a quarter of my life yet. So why am I panicking? In all honesty I don't have an answer. Maybe it's a societal thing, maybe in an instinct we all have that tries to keep us from failing so we opt for the easier option.
I do think this panic comes from a deep seated fear of failure and in turn disappointing those around me who have supported me for my entire life. People feel the need to make those who support them proud of them, but they forget that the people who care about you will be proud of you no matter what, they just want you to be happy.
So don't give up on a dream or drop out of a uni course that you love because you don't think you'll get a job. If you are passionate enough, and you are determined enough, you will be able to find away to make money off of what you love.